I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
