Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
