The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Can you bring me the toilet please
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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