Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
