Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
