Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize