she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
so let's talk penis.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
