a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize