The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
