ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
