She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
