yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
