what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize