You work out of a Hotel?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
