You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Randomize
