So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
