giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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