I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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