take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
