Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
