i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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