let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
