Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
