Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
