I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize