ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
