he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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