Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
