sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
