ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
