I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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