If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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