the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
