Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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