Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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