I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
