The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
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