Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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