you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
