I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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