I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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