Pappa wants mamma naked
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
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