Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
