So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
