they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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