i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
