upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize