So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
