It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
