all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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