Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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