i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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