Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
