There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Did I show you my penis last night?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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