Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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