So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
